If Homer Simpson ordered a custom board.

My first ever custom ordered board was a little over the top even for 1983. I had waited so long for my own custom ordered board I added every feature possible just like when uncle Herb let Homer Simpson design a car. Homer added-
  • Extremely large beverage holders.
  • A horn 'here, here and here' cause 'you can never find it when you need it' and they all should play La Cucaracha".
  • A little ball on top of the aerial so you can find it in the parking lot 'every car should have one'
  • Tail fins.
  • A giant spoiler.
  • A 'letter box' intake on the bonnet.
  • Bubble domes.
  • Shag carpeting.
  • For younger passengers a second soundproof bubble dome with optional straps and muzzles

Homer describes the car as "powerful like a gorilla, yet soft and yielding like a Nerf ball".

I added the following features to my space age custom surfboard design-
  • 6'0" Greg Clough shaped Aloha quad.
  • Double fly.
  • Swallow tail.
  • Channel bottom.
  • 4 fins, the front 2 bigger than the back two.
  • Custom painted blue fade stripes on all 4 fins.
  • Textured deck for super fast application of wax.
  • Rails sprayed dark blue to light blue and deck sprayed light blue to white with logo transfers with every colour available.

I describe the board as borderline unrideable as the channels fought the fin set up andthe double flyer swallow ail just made things even more complicated.

So when I found a similar example of the design for sale for $15 recently at a garage sale in Bondi naturally I just had to have it.

1 comment:

  1. thats hilarious! i have a question though, why is it borderline unrideable? :)